The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming.
- Romans 8:18
PAIN. . . it's such a simple, little word, but it's taken up most of my life. People see pain in different ways, but I used to see it as one big, black hole. A hole I couldn't even imagine breaking free from. Feeling all alone, I drew away from God (and everyone else) as I dealt with my physical, emotional and spiritual pains.
***WATCH MY STORY BEFORE CONTINUING, PLEASE!***
***WATCH MY STORY BEFORE CONTINUING, PLEASE!***
I love happy endings!
...and my very attractive InterStim technician! (hehe)
{Call, me Trey! ;) ow, ow!}
Interstitial Cystitis:
Say it with me!
IN*TER*STI*SHEE*UL SIS*TIE*TUS
LOL! When I was diagnosed with this horrible disease back in 2010, I had no idea what the heck my OBGYN had said! It's all a big, mumble-jumble word for a bladder disease that affects a lot of people. To explain what exactly happens:: The inside lining of the bladder deteriorates and it breaks down so much that the blood vessels inside the bladder wall burst, causing pain, and your body is forced to feel like it needs to absorb all that extra fluid, causing even more pain. If you looked at an IC bladder, it'd look like a bunch of blood blisters and would be a pinkish/red color, much like anything that gets irritated.
Along with IC, I also have IBS, Gastritis, Memory loss & a Carbohydrate Intolerance.
BUT I have to be weary of Endometriosis, Vulvodynia and Crohn's.
Ohh, the fun life of a 22 year old!
Sense my sarcasm?
...and my very attractive InterStim technician! (hehe)
{Call, me Trey! ;) ow, ow!}
Interstitial Cystitis:
Say it with me!
IN*TER*STI*SHEE*UL SIS*TIE*TUS
LOL! When I was diagnosed with this horrible disease back in 2010, I had no idea what the heck my OBGYN had said! It's all a big, mumble-jumble word for a bladder disease that affects a lot of people. To explain what exactly happens:: The inside lining of the bladder deteriorates and it breaks down so much that the blood vessels inside the bladder wall burst, causing pain, and your body is forced to feel like it needs to absorb all that extra fluid, causing even more pain. If you looked at an IC bladder, it'd look like a bunch of blood blisters and would be a pinkish/red color, much like anything that gets irritated.
Along with IC, I also have IBS, Gastritis, Memory loss & a Carbohydrate Intolerance.
BUT I have to be weary of Endometriosis, Vulvodynia and Crohn's.
Ohh, the fun life of a 22 year old!
Sense my sarcasm?
So here's the low down...
Back in 2010, after my Cystoscopy surgery, I didn't know what this silly disease would bring me. Shoot, back then I was even terrified (and mortified) that the doctors and nurses had seen me naked while they were looking at all my insides!
After that day (and many Ghirardelli chocolates later), I was put on medications that would soon make my hair and eyebrows fall out. I had a strict IC diet that I had to follow to the "T" and I had to track bathroom trips daily in a journal. I was eventually going through DMSO treatments that seeped through my pores and made my skin, sheets & pillows smell like garlic (EW)...but those never worked, so I was transferred to a doctor at Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis, MO.
Back in 2010, after my Cystoscopy surgery, I didn't know what this silly disease would bring me. Shoot, back then I was even terrified (and mortified) that the doctors and nurses had seen me naked while they were looking at all my insides!
After that day (and many Ghirardelli chocolates later), I was put on medications that would soon make my hair and eyebrows fall out. I had a strict IC diet that I had to follow to the "T" and I had to track bathroom trips daily in a journal. I was eventually going through DMSO treatments that seeped through my pores and made my skin, sheets & pillows smell like garlic (EW)...but those never worked, so I was transferred to a doctor at Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis, MO.
My doctor was AMAZING!
At first we tried a lot of medications. I was to the point of being in so much pain that I couldn't do anything at all. I mapped out bathrooms everywhere I went, was afraid of going out to eat, and slept on my bathroom floor most nights because it was too painful to get up out of bed so often.
Some medications were a complete Godsend and others didn't phase me at all. In 2011, I went through stage 1 and 2 InterStim surgeries--such a lifesaver!! My bathroom trips lessoned instantly, but I still struggled with pain. I eventually went through a Colonoscopy and Endoscopy, which anesthesia didn't put me out for because of my heavy duty medications.
There's a lot of little tidbits that I have probably left out and many stories that I now find funny, but you get the gist: IC isn't a disease to mess around with. And it's definitely NOT a disease to make fun of a person for having.
At first we tried a lot of medications. I was to the point of being in so much pain that I couldn't do anything at all. I mapped out bathrooms everywhere I went, was afraid of going out to eat, and slept on my bathroom floor most nights because it was too painful to get up out of bed so often.
Some medications were a complete Godsend and others didn't phase me at all. In 2011, I went through stage 1 and 2 InterStim surgeries--such a lifesaver!! My bathroom trips lessoned instantly, but I still struggled with pain. I eventually went through a Colonoscopy and Endoscopy, which anesthesia didn't put me out for because of my heavy duty medications.
There's a lot of little tidbits that I have probably left out and many stories that I now find funny, but you get the gist: IC isn't a disease to mess around with. And it's definitely NOT a disease to make fun of a person for having.
By January, 2013, I had lost all hope. I was trying to decide if I wanted to have my bladder removed and have an artificial bladder made in it's place, but even IC could attack the new bladder over time.
I didn't understand why God would make my life so miserable. "Why me, God? Why can't I just hit a break where everything just goes right for me? What did I do to deserve such sickening pain? Why do people not believe in IC and think that it's fake? Why do they think I just want attention?"
"I am suffering pain and in pain.
Rescue me, O God, by
your saving power."
Psalm 69:29
I didn't understand why God would make my life so miserable. "Why me, God? Why can't I just hit a break where everything just goes right for me? What did I do to deserve such sickening pain? Why do people not believe in IC and think that it's fake? Why do they think I just want attention?"
"I am suffering pain and in pain.
Rescue me, O God, by
your saving power."
Psalm 69:29
I was determined to change my life around and get healthier. I gave myself a deadline of going into remission and if that never happened, then I would go through with the bladder removal surgery.
Four months later, I was off of ALL of my medications, down 30 pounds and went to my doctors appointment not having to schedule another!! (I give all credit to God!!)
You know, these invisible diseases can be so scary. I felt so down in the dumps all the time, went into a deep depression, making my way to therapy because I became suicidal.
I'm a two-time college drop out (for some reason this makes me laugh!--I LOVED learning & always got good grades! Treatments & medications caused me to have memory loss, which made it hard to study! Who would've thunk it?!)..and I'm completely fine with that. I will never be able to play volleyball ever again because of my InterStim, but I'm completely fine with that, too. I still have my bad days, but I try to get out of bed and make the best of them.
You see, as I got healthier God started letting me realize WHY He had given me a life full of trials. Yes, it's hard still not having any friends and people looking at me like I don't even deserve to be in this town...but I don't care. After everything God has put me through, I know my worth and He has shown me that I deserve to live a prospering life full of His wisdom and helping others who deal with the same struggles. I deserve to live a happy, healthy and humble life and that, my friends, is exactly what I am doing.
Isaiah 66:9 says, "I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born."
Four months later, I was off of ALL of my medications, down 30 pounds and went to my doctors appointment not having to schedule another!! (I give all credit to God!!)
You know, these invisible diseases can be so scary. I felt so down in the dumps all the time, went into a deep depression, making my way to therapy because I became suicidal.
I'm a two-time college drop out (for some reason this makes me laugh!--I LOVED learning & always got good grades! Treatments & medications caused me to have memory loss, which made it hard to study! Who would've thunk it?!)..and I'm completely fine with that. I will never be able to play volleyball ever again because of my InterStim, but I'm completely fine with that, too. I still have my bad days, but I try to get out of bed and make the best of them.
You see, as I got healthier God started letting me realize WHY He had given me a life full of trials. Yes, it's hard still not having any friends and people looking at me like I don't even deserve to be in this town...but I don't care. After everything God has put me through, I know my worth and He has shown me that I deserve to live a prospering life full of His wisdom and helping others who deal with the same struggles. I deserve to live a happy, healthy and humble life and that, my friends, is exactly what I am doing.
Isaiah 66:9 says, "I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born."
God made me into a whole new person!
I see everything differently now.
I'm able to connect with others who are sick on a more personal level.
I never feel lonely, for God is ALWAYS with me.
I have met amazing people that I wouldn't have gotten the chance to meet if I hadn't been sick!
I've made friends all over the world who understand exactly what I've been through.
I'm "forced" to have a healthy lifestyle,
making me feel better in general.
And sometimes God has let me forget things on purpose--I hold onto memories like they're change in my pocket!
God has opened my eyes to animal therapy (Sophie was there in my worst of times!).
But most importantly, God has made me closer to HIM.
He's made me more life HIM.
And for that, I'm truly grateful.
I see everything differently now.
I'm able to connect with others who are sick on a more personal level.
I never feel lonely, for God is ALWAYS with me.
I have met amazing people that I wouldn't have gotten the chance to meet if I hadn't been sick!
I've made friends all over the world who understand exactly what I've been through.
I'm "forced" to have a healthy lifestyle,
making me feel better in general.
And sometimes God has let me forget things on purpose--I hold onto memories like they're change in my pocket!
God has opened my eyes to animal therapy (Sophie was there in my worst of times!).
But most importantly, God has made me closer to HIM.
He's made me more life HIM.
And for that, I'm truly grateful.
God gives us sweet sorrows and blessings in disguise for a reason we may not know at the time. Instead of being full of anger and hatred towards Him, we should remember that eventually "He will wipe every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever." (Revelation 21:4)
IC is just one of my beautiful blessings that God has given me and without going through all that I have, I couldn't imagine where I would be. IC will never define me, but my journey with God will. God has blessed me with a whole new aspect on my life and I will never be the same. He has healed me--in more ways than one. God has given me an all new strength in Him and myself.
IC is just one of my beautiful blessings that God has given me and without going through all that I have, I couldn't imagine where I would be. IC will never define me, but my journey with God will. God has blessed me with a whole new aspect on my life and I will never be the same. He has healed me--in more ways than one. God has given me an all new strength in Him and myself.
BY HIS WOUNDS,
WE ARE HEALED.
❤☮✞
a.
WE ARE HEALED.
❤☮✞
a.